….I think, they are one and the same. As much as I like it, it also tires me out. There are the waves I sometimes ride and believe, nothing can be better than that but, they also crash me at times and I do not know, if I can ever find my way out. Then they bring me sadness as I loose orientation, and drifting in the current with no land in sight, I realise that I have no say to what the ocean does and what happens to me and that riding the waves always will get me down into their valley. I have no power and the more I struggle to keep me afloat, the more energy is lost. The helplessness is the worst, because there is nothing under my control. It is the ocean that rules me. So why not just give up and give in and stop worrying about what may or may not be. People coming into my life and going like the ships and boats that cross the oceans and the creatures of the sea beneath me. Some good, some scary. Sun shining, wind blowing, smooth waters and then rough seas! Well, I still love the ocean, why should I mind, if it is my grave too.