“Mh, this champagne is not bad at all”, says Femina and follows the tingling cool from the mouth into the stomach, into the blood, right into the cells of her brain and all her body. In fact, she feels more and more tipsy and she does not mind at all. She leans back into the pillows and looks closely at Tina. She has changed, is far more relaxed than she has ever seen her. Tina glances back and reading minds comes naturally. They smile and are happy. It is after all only a question of dimensions: the content is a constant, the form is changeable, the shapes are different and limited in time. It may be only a moment, but that is exclusive.
“You look phantastic”, she states, eying her friend all over again. She starts to hum some notes: ‘Sex and drugs and rock’n roll….’, grinning at the same time.
“What about?” says Tina
Femina shakes her head: “Ah, its scandalous, shocking, tantalizing, - and all this served with your oh so soft smiles…..”. Indeed, her friend is a hot female, a sexy thing. Only super confident males dare because she is a men killer. One smile and men topple over in numbers. But she prefers women, eats only sometimes a guy like a sweet morsel. The exemption was certainly the father of her child. She would have stuck to him, but unfortunately he was the macho-man whom she would attract but who would never be a suitable partner. She fooled herself badly, though there is no real regret. Her daughter is worth it all.
‘Alcohol!’ Femina shrugs. It drives all kinds of desires! It truly is too bad that she herself prefers men, particularly when none is around! Tina watched her through half closed eyes. She takes the bottle to fill the glasses, raises her’s to Femina who follows suit. “Cheers”, she says and glasses clang together. Hold out and carry on drinking. All urges can be drowned that way.
“I intend to travel Alpha 7,” Femina says suddenly continuing with the conversation
Her friend perks herself up, is very interested indeed. Alpha 7 is a desirable destination amongst the travelling connoisseurs. Everyone wants to go there at least once. On Alpha 7 everyone’s dreams come true, so says the propaganda that is made for Alpha 7. In essence that is likely correct, but it may not be quite the same when it comes to the details. There are confusing reports, contributing to the allure, so it becomes the dream itself and not everyone believes they can afford it.
“Alpha 7”, says Tina softly and slowly as if it was chocolate she was melting on her tongue. “You think you will get there?” she asks seriously. “You know it is not that simple!”--- “And it takes some specific preparations!” she adds.
Femina nods, and admits, she had thought about it many times, but it is only now, in the spur of the moment that she decided. “I am going and we shall see.”
“Well, then go!” states Tina dryly. After all, she considers only the hardships that are inevitable, nothing else.
Femina ponders. Tina could just as well have said: ‘Alpha 7? Great! But it may be beyond your means!’ That makes her think……., her mind focuses, all senses meet in one point…….PENG!!!!....... She jumps.
“What the hell…!” but seeing Tina trying to get the foaming champagne into the goblets is too funny. She laughs. The cork flew off the right time for her. Not for the little one though. She woke up as well and looks confused. Femina finds it all too funny and carries on laughing. Oh poor mother! How can you ever serve everyone right!
“So sorry, my dear” says Tina to her daughter. She dries her hands in the long shawl she carries around most times, because they are so handy she claims, and as she shows, they are. “You see, this happens when too much goes on at the same time. Did you get frightened?”
The little one nods and does not know what to do. Tina makes an inviting gesture. Ah good mother! Your heart is so big if you leave it undivided. The little one moves over to her, puts her head into her lap. Pieta!
“Cheers”, says Femina and clangs the glasses again, “may the world carry on spinning and….”, “…..or whatever”. She drinks all in one go and fires the glass at the wall. Tina drinks slowly and smiles. Oh dear Mother! To be undivided in time is all you need to do.
“Why don’t you go to bed?” asks the little one, rubbing her eyes. “Come on, let’s go to bed!”
‘It definitely would be better’, Femina agrees in her thoughts. Irritability rises up. How she despises it all! It is enough just to see the various faces at the morning meeting, - every day the same, - most of them she does not want to see, they are not worth the glance. Notwithstanding she has to interact with them; well they really will go on her nerves tomorrow. She checks the clock. Worse, they will go on her nerves today, today already.
Loudly she says: “I would really like to carry on celebrating our reunion, we see each other so seldom. I don’t want to go to bed yet.” She looks inquisitively to Tina. She also wants to stay up. The little one grumbles a bit but is satisfied when Tina rises to bring her to bed.
“We could all sleep in my bed. It is big and I will be very silent getting up in the morning!” She shouts after them. She hears them muttering and giggling as they disappear to their rooms.
Femina finds herself suddenly alone in the silence of the night. There is heavy fog outside turning the glass of her big window into frosted shade. ‘She may go beyond her means?!’ Yes, she does! But that is not the problem. It is the other way round. The circumstances push her boundaries!
She gets up, opens the window. She takes deep breaths and enjoys the moist and cool air on her skin. In the fog all shapes lose their form. Real and true are two different things. The truth is a serpent and reality lies. Munchhausen, the ‘Baron of Lies’ is the master indeed: He pulled himself out of the swamp by his own tuft of hair. – There! - The fog tries to make her believe that there are no stars, no moon, that there was no city in existence down the hill, - how ridiculous! One knows after all what is true. In fact, it never lacks evidence only comprehension. She sighs. She is quite drunk, just the right time for melancholy.
Tina returns. As she see her friend at the window, she steps behind her, puts her arms on Femina’s shoulder and leans her head on them.
“Just look”, she says, “how the fog swallows the moon!” Her soft voice is close to Femina’s ear. “The full moon loses his way in the thickness of the fog…….”, she laughs. Femina feels the waves and as they spill over to her, there is suddenly laughter in all cells contagiously comforting. Her thoughts follow suit. Brainwaves, pleasing in their play and changing actions.
“Just look, how the fog shines!” She hears Tina’s voice again. “It looks like the mother of pearl” and she laughs softly.
Yes indeed, so it is with the lost moon. It is the night of the mother of pearl. One is the cause for the other and what is true and what real is so easy to ascertain:
Real is that they are drunk, true is that at this point in time they are happy, unconditionally. They remain there for a while, filling themselves up with the mother of pearl night. When they feel the cold, Femina closes the window and they return to their seats, - blood sisters.
Before you came back, I was nearly letting myself fall into the arms of melancholia. You know what I was thinking about?” Femina asks
Tina shakes no with her head, but says ‘yes’! Can she still have a real conversation with her? And who is cross-eyed here? Femina is not sure, besides she sees Tina doubly. She looks more closely. Indeed, she sees two pair, cross-eyed! Indeed, she sees doubles. Femina grabs a mandarin from the fruit bowl standing in the middle of the table. She throws it at Tina and gets her on her head. Very effective! The double pictures are gone and Tina is not cross-eyed any longer. They laugh and carry on with nonsense. Tina fetches the mandarin that came to rest close to her and eats it with gusto.
“Let’s go into the kitchen! I have a graving for something, mhmmh……don’t know for what, but mhm, I want something… whatever it may be.”
The suggestion is well received and so they change locale, the kitchen that is.