Waking up this morning after an unpleasant dream it was necessary to investigate what that was all about. Dreams have an effect on you, if you like it or not, if you actually remember them or not, - they can start your day with sunshine even when it actually rains, or they put you in an angry mood for the whole day and, everything gets up your nose without even having a solid reason or an explanation for it. Therefore I like to reflect on my dreams, if I actually can remember them. This one was hazy but the message was clear: Things were upsetting me for quite a while now, real events and despite me letting my emotions run as they came so I would not get stuck with bottled up ones, there was just one problem, - I could not prevent me from feeling more and more frustrated as the negative events were piling up day after day. These events and circumstances were and are out of my control. Clearly, it is the most disempowering feeling to know how wrong things are but you are unable to intervene, correct and redirect any of it, not quick enough anyway and not extensive enough either to make a difference and induce change. No chance of running away to escape and shelter out of harm's way either. It made me feel helpless, probably the most powerful destructive emotion you may have to endure one or another time. You see the danger in front of you but there is nothing you can do to prevent it from happening. So you wait until your demise, or hope you find an alternative solution with which you can live and make peace with yourself again. So! This was my dream: horrible events, blurred and hazy but with a certainty of doom and there was nothing I could do about it. It was done for me! I woke up and felt miserable. Fortunately the connection to my dream was there and suddenly the helplessness shone so bright into my eyes that it really woke me up, like you look into the mirror and suddenly a lightbulb is switched on, and the shine gets even brighter as it is reflected from the mirror, piercing its way right into your brain. Hello, Monster! Now I understand what has happened to me.There was not enough time to prevent this monster from growing! Too many events and too much indulgence on the negative side of the scale! But the events, though the cause of the evil, were just the walls that lead to my wallowing within it and, it brought me down, slowly but surely. The negativity began to pervade me, reflected from the walls, rising from the bottom like dark and murky water of a forgotten well and the light from the above opening disappeared as the night set in. Indeed! I concentrated on walls, on my incarceration and on my frustration and anger, for no good reason as it will not change the predicament. It only made me feel more and more miserable. Being consumed by hate and anger and, frustration, succumbing to helplessness? No thank you! I really need to treat myself better than that! To let go of what you think should be is the first thing that has to go. Instead, I better concentrate on what really is, now, not tomorrow, not how I wished it was. Now is enough to feel and to deal with. Helplessness is no more than wanting things you can't have. Hello, monster, you are just a kitty cat! Thank you, sweet dreams and thank you for your reflections.